when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
