Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
