Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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