I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize