How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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