My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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