meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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