i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
