What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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