At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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