Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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