a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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