That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
