What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
