i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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