my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
