You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
