Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
