Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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