It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize