I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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