More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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