My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I could have mohawked her pubes.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
