dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
