The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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