Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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