It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
