Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
