I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
