All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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