Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize