You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
