Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i need some magic done to my vagina
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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