They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize