we're blogging at a bar
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
