This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
