my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
