using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
