I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and she was petting her beer can
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
