Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
