How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
