If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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