i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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