Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
