Nicole vs. Life
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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