What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize