Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
