How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
