Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
are you so shy because you have an std?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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