Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize