Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
