i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
