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this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize