so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize