what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
