And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
