Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
