Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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