Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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