i jhust puked up my retainher.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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