hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
