this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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