and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize