its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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